Blog 2: Finding my Voice
Identity cannot be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.
Doug Cooper
Recently I was having a conversation with several women and we were talking about the time when we graduated from high school and were deciding to attend college. We were reminiscing that teaching, nursing or secretarial work were the professions open to women. They were a job “until we got married”! How much the world has changed and yet we still experience the impact of this gendered viewpoint.
My family had dreams for me (along with society) to be a good mother, live nearby, and be part of the community serving within the church and larger community. They didn’t encourage me to attend college or further my education. However, some of my teachers encouraged me to consider college. The guidance counselor talked to me about choices – nursing was out, since I would pass out at the sight of blood. Teaching was the other choice and my family supported that choice because I could still fulfill their dream to be a mom.
The women role models that I knew in my small community were teachers or nurses. I really didn’t see women in other positions so had the impression that women were in “support” roles to their families, not in careers that they loved and enjoyed.
As I started college, I thought teaching would be a good job – still had no concept of what it meant to have a career. It was just something to do. Finishing college, I started as a teacher – my heart wasn’t into teaching junior high and I knew it almost from day 1. After a couple of years, I decided to explore some of my own interests. These interests were in the design field – How does the built environment affect our behavior? I was really excited to learn more and decided to start taking some courses at a university not too far away.
And these interests lead to going back to the university for another degree. I loved the course work but wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with this new degree. My advisor encouraged me to interview for some positions at universities in my field – “was I finally an adult that could find my identity and have the courage to pursue my own dreams?” By this time I was married and as my husband and I discussed these opportunities, it seemed like it could become a reality.
How did you find your ‘Voice’ and that lead to your identity?